Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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