I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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