if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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