So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
