Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
