My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
