No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
BRING THE BAGELS
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
