He kissed a someone with a penis
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
