I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
