i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
