You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
