Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize