Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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