Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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