She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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