Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
