the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
