no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Everything about him screamed your future.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
