Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
