he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
