Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
