Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
