I wannas sexs uuuuu
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
