She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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