The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
