Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
sex in a hospital.. check
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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