I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's blow job season.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
