Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
