Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
