Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
