Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
