Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
