So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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