I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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