Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
