We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
