sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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