so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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