remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
