Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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