Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
