If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
