Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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