Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
