I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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