She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
