is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
