Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
