Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
