So drunk, too bad you don't want this
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
