You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
