why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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