I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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