No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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