I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
