Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
