you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
