we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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