Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
