I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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