I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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